My First Mission Trip

Hey everyone!

So I'm back from my mission trip to Lyford, Texas and boy is my heart humbled. In one week I've laughed, cried, experienced life change, and eaten way too much Whataburger. 

This was my first mission trip. I missioned with my boyfriends church to Lyford where we held a VBS for the children there. We canvassed the communities the first 2 days and then held the VBS for the last 3 days. As I walked through the neighborhoods handing out fliers, the phrase "someone will always have it better" was resonating in my mind. It was hard to see the conditions these families lived in. Compared to us here in Houston, their living conditions seemed almost impossible for us to deal with. Where I'm from(South Africa), however, families live in shed sized cubes made from metal sheets, cardboard, wood, anything they can find. For us, we feel pretty blessed to live in safe homes and have all our materialistic items but the families of Lyford are blessed compared to the living conditions I've seen elsewhere. 

I felt pretty defeated the first day of canvassing. It was like I could see the battle Satan was trying to create for our mission. So many fliers were hanging from gates and doors because residents didn't want to hear what we had to say. The next day I prayed that I would get to see at least one child. Just one so that I could feel like I was successful. Within the few hours we canvassed I got to talk to 4 kids and give one a high five for the fake plastic snake left on the front porch that scared the crap out of me. We also got to canvass out in the country where houses seemed half a mile apart. The second day of canvassing was definitely better for me.

Something I learned this week was the power of prayer. God is so good. Whatever I prayed for, it was received. It's such a beautiful gift that we can talk to Him.

I came on this mission trip with doubt and worries. I was scared that God wouldn't use me. That He would use everyone else and forget that I was there to serve too. I was also scared that my boyfriends church wouldn't like me. That they would see me as "that girl dating the worship leader". I prayed so much about that. Once again, God answered. I made awesome friends and strengthened the friendships I had.

My role in the VBS was a large group leader. That meant that I made sure all the small group leaders were doing everything correctly. At first I thought that was the silliest job ever. What was I going to do? I was wrong. They actually did need me. And I got to interact with the children. I even got to lead 6 children to Christ. I prayed with them and I prayed over them. These are 4 of the girls who were saved.

I have to take a second to brag on my boyfriend. He is the worship leader at his church and recently he was employed as a staff member. I thought I'd never get to see him on the mission trip. I even joked that I'd maybe get to wave at him on stage. Every day I fell in love with Jacob over and over again. Every day I prayed in thankfulness for Jacob. I got to witness him lead a youth group in amazing worship every night. And he looked pretty hot walking around overseeing an entire VBS. He always had breakfast with me and made sure I didn't feel left out.

I'm so thankful God sent me to Lyford. My life was changed in a week. My faith is so strong in The Lord. I can't wait to mission again next year.

Claire

God Writes Our Love Story

Hey everyone!

So lately I have been thinking about the relationship I am in and how different it is to my previous "relationships" with other guys. All this thinking made me realize that no matter how much we try to force ourselves in thinking our significant other is "the one", only God knows who He has made for you as a life partner. 

Now I'm not going to get all lovey dovey on y'all in this post, but there's no doubt in my mind that Jacob(my boyfriend) is the man I'm going to marry. I can't express the comfort and peace I have in knowing that. What I find even more comforting is that I didn't tell myself I'm going to marry Jacob, God told me. 

I used to force myself to like certain guys just so that I could tell my friends I was talking to someone. I've even been heart broken by a Godly guy. With that guy, I told myself I would marry him. I don't know what made me think I could marry a man I was settling for. 

That's the difference in being with a man God wants you to marry. The word settling isn't used. You should never have to think to yourself "I hate that he does that but I can live with it". You should see every aspect of your man and think how you love that he does that. Sure, every person has flaws. I have flaws and I know that. 

You might be in the same situation I was in highschool. I considered myself a Christian, but when it came to the guys I dated I didn't care at all if the guy was a Christian. If he was cute and single, he was enough. My standards as a Godly girl were so low. It's funny to look back on all the times I cried because I thought I wasn't good enough for anyone after getting hurt by unGodly guys. I realize now that it wasn't because I wasn't good enough. It was because I was trying to create relationships with nonbelievers. 

    2 Corinthians 6:14 "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do rightousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"(NIV)

 Of course I desired a Godly relationship, but that is extremely hard to find in high school. 

I've always been a strong believer in dating to marry instead of dating just to date. Maybe that's why Jacob is my first real boyfriend. I truly believe that a Godly relationship should have somewhat of a vision of marriage. I don't mean on the first date you should start wedding planning, but as you get to know this person you should think "is this a quality I want in a husband?" 

The point of this post is to show you that no matter how much you convince yourself you can settle for a guy, God has chosen someone for you. He knows the perfect timing of you meeting that person. If you're single and waiting for that moment then treasure that time of singleness. Submerge your love in the Lord. Allow yourself to find peace and comfort in Him. God is selfish. He desires your love and attention. Give that to him with no restraint. 

Claire 

My Testimony

Hey everyone!

 This has been one of those posts that take so much thought to compose. It's a special post and it's also an intimidating one because I'm revealing so much to strangers. However, I feel that God has called me to post this no matter what the feedback may be. 

I'm going to be sharing my testimony with you. Just a warning, this is going to be a long post. Let's just get started. 

 I didn't grow up in a home that had dinner at the table every night. I wasn't taught at a young age how to be a daughter of Christ. My family never prayed together unless it was a special holiday. My point is, I wasn't one of the lucky kids who was born into a Christian home. When I moved to America, my family found a church to attend and we went regularly. I was still young at the time and outside of church I had no influence of God. I was the kid who went to church because my parents forced me to. I got baptized when I was in 4th grade, but I've always believed that baptism was because I felt like I had to do it.

I don't know if it's the constant moving that caused me to seek attention. It was like I had this desire to be held on to by somebody and I couldn't satisfy that need. I didn't find satisfaction in friends so by 8th grade I was seeking attention from boys. Innocent little 8th grade Claire was probably the most gullible girl. I wanted to be wanted by a man. If I could tell my 8th grade self one thing, it would be that God was standing there with His arms wide open ready to take me in. Of course I couldn't see that. Or maybe I didn't want to see that. 

I won't go into detail because I don't feel that's relevent to this post, but I find myself in a horrible situation with a guy. Long story short this situation not only destroyed my life, but took every single relationship I had in my life. It was the lowest my life has ever been. I had to go through humiliating discussions with counsilors and police officers. The little privacy I had as a middle schooler was completely invaded. I was empty. 

You would think at this point I would've surrendered. Nope, at this point I was in complete defense mode. On my way to counsiling I would scream in my head "How can you be real if you destroyed my life God?! Aren't you supposed to fix everything?" He was silent. Not because He didn't want to talk to me, but because it was my turn to run towards Him. Day after day my heart whittled away. 

This went on until sophomore year. My parents eventually spoke to me again. I had a sense of privacy again. I took full advantage of that. I was back to attention seeking from guys. I was the feshman girl that got attention from the senior guys. The bad attention. My lustful desires were being met but my heart was dry. 

The summer before Junior year I surrendered. I cried and I prayed. I prayed hard and I prayed consistently. It's funny to me how God, our Creator, our Father, forgives us before we even realize we have sinned. However, we as humans could take months or years to forgive ourselves. I'm still learning to forgive myself. I found God and my soul was on fire for Him. 

That lasted about a year before

 I started slipping into temptations again. Now it may seem by this timeline of events that I did every sinful thing in the book, but that's not the case. I was still a virgin. That doesn't excuse the sinful acts I participated in. 

 I was living for God. I was serving in church and my relationship with my family was so strong. Once again a few months later I was drowning in temptations. You would think I would've learned a lesson or two by now. The only difference now was that I was an adult. That made things so much worse. I had to make my own decisions and I didn't seem to make the right ones. I found myself in situations with guys that I will never forget. Several of them I don't know how I made it through with my virginity protected. 

Do you notice the seasons of my unGodly life? It was like a black and white pattern. I was falling in and out for the last 18 years of my life. 

Here's where the permanent change took place. Last summer I said a prayer. I prayed that God would take control. I wanted Him to selfishly take every thought I had and make it about Him. I wanted to live for Him. He answered my prayers. I was submerged in grace and love. I felt overflowing with comfort from the Lord.

 I went to summer camp with my church last year and I met a guy there. I thought this couldn't be more perfect. How cute would our story be at our wedding? Two camp counsilors who met at a Christian camp, fell in love, and lived happily ever after. That wasn't exactly what happened. A few weeks after the hype of camp burnt out, I started to see his true colors. The relationship quickly ended.

I feel that God tested me with that relationship. He wanted me to trust in Him with everything, even my dating relationships. After that I was done. Truly done. I prayed again that God would selfishly take control. He did. 

For the rest of the year I didn't have any contact with guys. I was fully devoted to God and my school work. When I say fully devoted, I truly mean it. I was so absorbed in God it was like the darkness of the world was a blur. I was putting all my heart into serving and praising the Lord in everything I do. 

I still live this way now. I am so strong in my faith and my self esteem and confidence is great. I had to go through the absolute lowest and most painful season of my life in order to be saved and washed white. One thing I have learned throughout my life is that God is forever forgiving. He will never turn from you. He will always forgive and he knows what you are going through. 

God's grace and forgiveness is an ocean of wave after wave crashing into you. He loves you so dearly. If you are struggling with a desire for affection, I encourage you to prayer for the same things I did. I hope you guys enjoyed this post and getting an inside look at my journey. 

Claire 

Why am I blogging again?

So I've decided to start a new blog...3rd times the charm? Haha anyways I feel like this blog will be different. My hope is that this blog will be inspiring and fun. A little 'pick me up' when you're bored at work or something to read when you're having lunch. I've blogged previously but I never had a true passion in what I was writing. I loved fashion and makeup but the blogs failed because I lost interest so quickly. This blog will be filled with a passion for what I write. 

Why did I start blogging again? It's been on my heart for over a month now. I've had these thoughts piling in my head that just want to be expressed. I feel God has pulled on my heart saying "this is what I want it to be about. Write about Me. Write about my unconditional grace." So here it is Lord. I want this to be a fresh 5 minute escape for anyone who reads.  

This is going to be a blog all about my life, my thoughts, my faith, my relationship, and my friendships. I'll answer any questions you have or offer advice and I'll share what I'm struggling with or what I've learned from my struggles. I may post randomly about my week or a fun day. It's going to be a surprise every time because I'll writing about whatever is on my mind that week. 

I'll finish off with a little bit about myself. So I'm 19(almost 20!) and I am in college. I have an insanely amazingly handsome boyfriend(who I may brag about here and there). I am a small group leader for young girls at my church. I'm definitely an introvert but I also love fun things like baseball games, shopping, and beach days. I was born in South Africa and I moved to America 12 years ago. My favorite movie is A Walk to Remember(I've cried all 5 times watching it) and my favorite color is pink of course. 

 

Here are a few fun pictures of my summer so far:

A beach day!

My boyfriend and I :) 

My boyfriend and I on the left, his sister and I on the right

So that's it for the first post! I'm not sure what I will talk about next but if you have any topic suggestions or questions feel free to email, comment, or tweet them to me. 

Claire 

Instagram: claireizabella 

Twitter: @claireizabellaa